Striving to Stillness

I have recently overcome a spirit of striving that has been a stronghold most of my life. This was many levels of deliverance by the Lord and in different ways over several years. One way I remember so clearly had to do with His love.

I have a small group, 3 of us, who meet in my basement for worship and prayer. During worship one evening, I was pouring out worship to my Lord. I was pouring out my love to Him and sensed Him say to me “when would you like to receive?” I stopped in my spirit and asked what He meant. He said He wanted to pour His love INTO me. My all-knowing, merciful God knew that I was striving to worship Him. It was my duty. Yes, a duty to worship that I loved, I’m a worshipper at heart. But still, with every worship song in which the leader would yell ‘pour out your whole heart to Jesus!’ or ‘Give Him your highest praise!” with more and louder shouts from the crowd of worshippers, I was right there with them. More. I have to DO more. Give more. Pour out MORE. How many areas of our life do we constantly pour out more?

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind,…’ Luke 10:27. There’s a lot of ALLs in this verse. I was so busy loving God with my ALL that I didn’t stop to let him pour His love into me first. 

God reminded me that I have the capacity to love because He first loved me. (1 John 4:19) I was striving from old wounds and strongholds. In my striving to love Him with everything I am, I felt drained, weary, and realized I could never love Him enough. Not in myself. 

At that moment I turned my heart ever so gently – to receive.

I believe our act of worship isn’t only in constantly pouring out with singing, dancing, playing music, and telling God how great He is. I have come to realize that a beautiful act of worship is to be still and know that He is God (Ps 46:10). To silence all my pouring out. To silence all my constant chatter to Him, as well-intentioned as it was.

This process actually started at a women’s conference about 5 years ago. During worship, many women were near the altar, worshipping, singing, on their knees, groaning in prayer. I was off to the side, standing at the corner. While praying and worshipping in my heart and my mind, I heard in my spirit “SHHH.” I looked around, shrugged it off, and resumed. Again, I heard a distinct “SHHH.” I stopped my inward chatter and turned my heart to the Lord asking ‘is that you, Lord?’ He said ‘be quiet and let me fill you.’ He then showed me my inner man, and it was empty! 

I stood there, looking to Him, eyes closed. I kept my spirit and my mind quiet, just focused on His presence. And He began filling me. He filled me with His love, His joy, His peace. I saw a light in my inner man that hadn’t been there before. I was receiving as I had never allowed myself before. And I was gloriously exuberant in my stillness, smiling and worshipping before my King.

We are His vessels here on earth. A vessel sparks the picture of something that must be filled in order to be poured out. Once it’s poured out, there is nothing left if it’s not refilled. 

You are a beautiful vessel. That’s how the lover of your soul sees you. Is your vessel filled to be poured out? Are you overfull and needing a place to pour out to? Is your vessel so dry it’s cracking? There is refreshing waiting for you.

If you need to be refilled, restored, and refreshed, go to your quiet place. Make this a number one priority. Ask Him to fill you so completely with His refreshing love. He will. Sit back, relax, focus on Jesus and HE WILL DO IT. He’s faithful. Ask for a verse that will refresh you. If He calls you to repent for anything, or forgive anyone, even yourself, do it quickly. His grace is sufficient for you. Drink. Drink deeply of this fountain of life. For with Him is the fountain of life, in His light we see light. (Ps 36:9)

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Amy Tyndale is a guest contributor and lives in Colorado Springs, CO with her husband, Dan. She is the author of Desperate for Peace and is passionate about connecting others to the loving heart of Jesus. You can purchase her book here.